The relationship you have with yourself comes out when no one is looking.
How you talk to yourself, the bad habits you say you will change and never do, the things you tolerate from other people even when you know they’re disrespectful, the advice you give to others that you don’t follow etc. There is a difference between the ‘you’ you say you are and the ‘you’ you actually are. The honest-to-god relationship you have with self is what you do behind closed doors, when you are alone with your own thoughts, when things get hard or when no one is watching.
Self-love is a way of treating oneself, it is not a list of things to do. In my opinion, a healthy relationship with self needs a two-folded approach: a ‘soft love’ approach and a ‘tough love’ approach.
Sometimes what you need is to show yourself some soft, cuddly, affectionate treatment. Then is a great time to pull out all the things that feel good, all the things that you desire, all the things that you enjoy, they can be big or small, depending on what you feel that you can afford but also what the situation deserves that is an equal reward to your achievements: from bubble baths, a new pair of shoes, nails done to a trip somewhere nice, a a getaway or a brand new car.
Other times though, loving yourself will mean that you have to be tough with yourself. It will mean self-discipline, it will mean giving up short-term pleasure to focus on long-term gains, it will mean not tolerating any more excuses about the things that you said you will do, it will mean closing the door on people that are not good for you, it will mean ending relationships that have proved to you consistently that are not good for you.
Loving yourself is not something you do once in a while or on special occasions. Once you learn how to do (because there are tools that you need to use on a constant